Chapter Contents
Chapter 1
Three invalids. - Sufferings of George and Harris. - A victim to one
hundred and seven fatal maladies. - Useful prescriptions. - Cure for
liver complaint in children. - We agree that we are overworked, and need
rest. - A week on the rolling deep? - George suggests the river. -
Montmorency lodges an objection. - Original motion carried by majority of
three to one.
Chapter 2
Plans discussed. - Pleasures of "camping-out," on fine nights. - Ditto,
wet nights. - Compromise decided on. - Montmorency, first impressions of.
- Fears lest he is too good for this world, fears subsequently dismissed
as groundless. - Meeting adjourns.
Chapter 3
Arrangements settled. — Harris's method of doing work. — How the elderly,
family-man puts up a picture. — George makes a sensible, remark. —
Delights of early morning bathing. — Provisions for getting upset.
Chapter 4
The food question. — Objections to paraffine oil as an atmosphere. —
Advantages of cheese as a travelling companion. — A married woman deserts
her home. — Further provision for getting upset. — I pack. — Cussedness
of tooth-brushes. — George and Harris pack. — Awful behaviour of
Montmorency. — We retire to rest.
Chapter 5
Mrs. P. arouses us. — George, the sluggard. — The "Weather Forecast"
swindle. — Our luggage. — Depravity of the small boy. — The people gather
round us. — We drive off in great style, and arrive at Waterloo. —
Innocence of South Western officials concerning such worldly things as
trains. — We are afloat, afloat in an open boat.
Chapter 6
Kingston. — Instructive remarks on early English history. — Instructive
observations on carved oak and life in general. — Sad case of Stivvings,
junior. — Musings on antiquity. — I forget that I am steering. —
Interesting result. — Hampton Court Maze. — Harris as a guide.
Chapter 7
The river in its Sunday garb. — Dress on the river. — A chance for the
men. — Absence of taste in Harris. — George's blazer. — A day with the
fashion-plate young lady. — Mrs. Thomas's tomb. — The man who loves not
graves and coffins and skulls. — Harris mad. — His views on George and
banks and lemonade. — He performs tricks.
Chapter 8
Blackmailing. — The proper course to pursue. — Selfish boorishness of
river-side landowner. — "Notice" boards. — Unchristianlike feelings of
Harris. — How Harris sings a comic song. — A high-class party. — Shameful
conduct of two abandoned young men. — Some useless information. — George
buys a banjo.
Chapter 9
George is introduced to work. — Heathenish instincts of tow-lines. —
Ungrateful conduct of a double-sculling skiff. — Towers and towed. — A
use discovered for lovers. — Strange disappearance of an elderly lady. —
Much haste, less speed. — Being towed by girls: exciting sensation. — The
missing lock or the haunted river. — Music. — Saved!
Chapter 10
Our first night. — Under canvas. — An appeal for help. — Contrariness of
tea-kettles, how to overcome. — Supper. — How to feel virtuous. — Wanted!
A comfortably-appointed, well-drained desert island, neighbourhood of
South Pacific ocean preferred. — Funny thing that happened to George's
father. — A restless night.
Chapter 11
How George, once upon a time, got up early in the morning. — George,
Harris, and Montmorency do not like the look of the cold water. — Heroism
and determination on the part of J. — George and his shirt: story with a
moral. — Harris as cook. — Historical retrospect, specially inserted for
the use of schools.
Chapter 12
Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn. — Disadvantages of living in same house with
pair of lovers. — A trying time for the English nation. — A night search
for the picturesque. — Homeless and houseless. — Harris prepares to die.
- An angel comes along. — Effect of sudden joy on Harris. — A little
supper. — Lunch. — High price for mustard. — A fearful battle. —
Maidenhead. — Sailing. — Three fishers. — We are cursed.
Chapter 13
Marlow. — Bisham Abbey. — The Medmenham Monks. — Montmorency thinks he
will murder an old tom cat. — But eventually decides that he will let it
live. — Shameful conduct of a fox terrier at the Civil Service stores. —
Our departure from Marlow. — An imposing procession. — The steam launch,
useful receipts for annoying and hindering it. — We decline to drink the
river. — A peaceful dog. — Strange disappearance of Harris and a pie.
Chapter 14
Wargrave. — Waxworks. — Sonning. — Our stew. — Montmorency is sarcastic.
- Fight between Montmorency and the tea-kettle. — George's banjo studies.
- Meet with discouragement. — Difficulties in the way of the musical
amateur. — Learning to play the bagpipes. — Harris feels sad after
supper. — George and I go for a walk. — Return hungry and wet. — There is
a strangeness about Harris. — Harris and the swans, a remarkable story. —
Harris has a troubled night.
Chapter 15
Household duties. — Love of work. — The old river hand, what he does and
what he tells you he has done. — Scepticism of the new generation. —
Early boating recollections. — Rafting. — George does the thing in style.
- The old boatman, his method. — So calm, so full of peace. — The
beginner. — Punting. — A sad accident. — Pleasures of friendship. —
Sailing, my first experience. — Possible reason why we were not drowned.
Chapter 16
Reading. — We are towed by steam launch. — Irritating behaviour of small
boats. — How they get in the way of steam launches. — George and Harris
again shirk their work. — Rather a hackneyed story. — Streatley and
Goring.
Chapter 17
Washing day. — Fish and fishers. — On the art of angling. — A
conscientious fly-fisher. — A fishy story.
Chapter 18
Locks. — George and I are photographed. — Wallingford. — Dorchester. —
Abingdon. — A family man. — A good spot for drowning. — A difficult bit
of water. — Demoralizing effect of river air.
Chapter 19
Oxford. — Montmorency's idea of heaven. — The hired up-river boat, its
beauties and advantages. — The "Pride of the Thames." — The weather
changes. — The river under different aspects. — Not a cheerful evening. —
Yearnings for the unattainable. — The cheery chat goes round. — George
performs upon the banjo. — A mournful melody. — Another wet day. —
Flight. — A little supper and a toast.
|